The ego is also attached to the idea of time; thus, it gets caught up in the past and worries about its future. Therefore, the egoic mind fluctuates. It goes up when it feels good and goes down when it feels bad. It moves to the left when it’s thinking of the past and moves to the right when it’s projecting the future. There is no sense of inner peace with the ego because it has a hard time being joyful in the present moment. It can only feel good when things are going according to its expectations. If they don’t go as planned, the ego feels frustrated.
2. It has the need to control.
3. It has the need to be right.
4. It has the need to blame, complain and find fault with itself or others.
5. Through judging it creates the idea of being superior or inferior. I’m better than or less than. I am right or I am wrong. The ego likes to think it is correct and it hates being wrong. However, right and wrong are simply based on the ego’s likes and dislikes. If you like something, then it appears to be “right” in your mind. If you don’t like it, then it seems “wrong.” What is right for one person may be wrong for another because each individual perceives reality differently according to his or her judgment, and everyone has different preferences. The ego also generates a sense of separation. It’s me against another or us against them; thus, conflict occurs.
6. It can justify doing harm to itself or others. This is why we mistreat each other. Our ego justifies it. If you hurt me, then I must hurt you or the ego does harm to itself due to inner turmoil.
7. Due to being judgmental, the ego creates a sense of “not enough” or “dissatisfaction” no matter how much it achieves. Thus, it never truly feels fulfilled with life or knows unconditional joy.
8. It only knows conditional happiness. If I get what I want, I feel happy. If I don’t, I feel frustrated.
9. Since the ego only knows conditional happiness, it thrives on competition. Winning feels good, but losing feels terrible. Hence, the ego always feels emotionally up and down depending on its life’s situation. Satisfaction is short-lived for the ego because it doesn’t know or feel unconditional happiness from within.
10. Therefore, the ego always looks outside of itself in order to feel good such as having more money; receiving higher status; becoming a success according to society’s standards; finding a partner who caters to the ego’s needs; getting approval from others, etc. When it gets what it wants, it feels great. When it does not, it feels angry, unhappy or depressed.
These ideas sound logical to the ego, but life doesn’t always go according to plan; thus, our egoic mind reacts negatively and produces all kinds of stressful responses and these become our emotional wounds, especially when we’ve encountered traumatic events or felt abandoned.
The ego does not address these emotional wounds because it doesn’t like to look within itself. It prefers to look outside of itself and chases after temporary pleasures. Even if the ego gets all that it wants, it will begin to ask “is that all there is?” This is because the ego continues to judge itself and others. Thus, most people don’t feel happy for very long since they still harbor discontentment and the sense of being incomplete. They get used to the things they have acquired, and when life is no longer exciting, they will start to pursue what they think will fulfill them. The ego simply gets caught up in a loop and never truly feels satisfied with life. The negative reactions; hurtful feelings; and the feeling of lack are still there. These have not turned into healing where you feel whole and complete. They have not turned into insight where you can see the big picture and allow wisdom to occur. Therefore, your meditation practice is a bridge to your transformation where you no longer feel inadequate, but capable of handling life’s challenges with joy.